Those Were the Days | kimberly ah

Jun 16 2013

celebrations, Loving Day, Those Were the Days

San San Kudo

When Naoto and I got married we wanted to incorporate a Japanese tradition into our ceremony. We were married at Unity Temple, so we had a lot of freedom to create a ceremony that suited our beliefs and desires. Naoto suggested the san san kudo ceremony as an option.

San san kudo (translated: three, three, nine times) dates back to the 1600s and is a binding ritual of sharing sake. During the ceremony, the sake is served from a special set of three cups symbolizing heaven, earth and humankind. The bride and the groom each take three sips from each of the three cups, making nine sips total. Nine is an especially lucky number in Japan. For our ceremony, Naoto’s sister Hisae poured and served the sake. Our set was a gift from Naoto’s mother, who also included a jar of sake for us. This sake was horrible!!! My three sips were not sips, instead I briefly touched the sake to my lips, hoping I wouldn’t taste anything. Naoto polished off the rest of the cup for me during his turn. (Thanks to our marriage vows, I can always count on Naoto to finish any sort of food or beverage!) Little did I know at the time, but the sake isn’t supposed to be delicious–just like all moments of marriage are not perfect, the terrible sake is supposed to remind us that we are bonded in marriage through the good times and bad (or the good cocktails and bad?) But the taste of the sake didn’t matter–we loved taking part in this small ceremony and having Hisae play a part in our wedding!

Now we keep our san san kudo set on the sideboard in the dining room as a little reminder of our wedding day.

This was the last (& slightly delayed) post in my series celebrating Loving Day.

Tagged celebrations, Loving Day, memories, wedding

Jun 12 2013

3 Comments

celebrations, holidays, Loving Day, some stuff about me, Those Were the Days, thoughts

Loving Day

In 2007 Naoto & I did an interview for the Chicago Tribune. The article was written to celebrate the fortieth anniversary of Loving v. Virginia, the Supreme Court decision that invalidated any state laws that outlawed marriage between interracial couples. Our friend Erica worked for the Tribune and when one of the reporters mentioned that she was seeking out interracial couples, Erica gave her our number. The reporter came to our home one night and sat in our living room and asked us a bunch of questions about our marriage, how our families responded to our relationship, how others responded to our relationship and how we felt about the fact that our marriage would have been illegal forty years before. A few nights later a photographer came to our home to take pictures of us (and Presley). We also took a little walk downtown Oak Park with him so he could get outside shots. I wish I could have seen all of those pictures because we had a great time…but it is no secret that I was thrilled to see my little Presley in the paper! (Can you tell that she reeeeally didn’t want to be held?) You can read the article in full here. (Please note: we over-used the word “like” in the interview. Also, yes, that was my hair.)

To be honest, before we did the interview, Naoto and I had no idea about the Lovings or Loving v Virginia. We knew interracial marriage was not a common thing, especially between an Asian man and a white woman (from an all-white farm town nonetheless), but we lived in such a progressive community, we never gave it much thought.

Sure, there have been occasional head-turns over the years.

Sure, there have been people who’ve asked me “what” Naoto is and people who have refused to learn his name because it’s different. (“Can I just call him Bob?”)

Sure, there was that guy at Trader Joe’s who said, incredulously, “Yoooouuuu’re Naoto’s wife???”

But, for the most part, because of friends we surround ourselves with and the community we live in, we are insulated from the interracial marriage “haters”. It isn’t until things blow up like a Cheerios commercial that we realize how important Loving Day is.

For us, Loving Day is just another day for us to celebrate what we are: just a couple of people who happened to meet at the right place in the right time who happened to be from two different continents, two different races and two different nationalities. And, as we celebrate forty-six years of legal interracial marriage, it’s hard not to think about Loving Day’s relevance in today’s fight for gay marriage. In 2007, Mildred Loving issued this statement regarding Loving Day and its relationship to our modern-day fight for marriage rights:

“I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry… I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard’s and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight, seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That’s what Loving, and loving, are all about.”

Tagged celebrations, Loving Day

Jun 11 2013

4 Comments

Loving Day, some stuff about me, Those Were the Days

Exchanging Business Cards (the Japanese Way)

The night that Naoto and I met (a story for another time) the one big conversation catalyst was my job at a Japanese company. Because our offices interacted so often with Japanese colleagues, part of my training involved Japanese business culture. And, because I grew up in a town that was 99.9% white and was never a Japanophile before I started working there, I found this training so fascinating. As it turned out, part of Naoto’s job at that time was to deliver Japanese business culture trainings to doctors who would be traveling to Japan for conferences. Naoto and I had a great conversation comparing notes and stories of accidental rudeness. We laughed as we presented our business cards to each other that night. We followed the strictest Japanese protocol in the middle of that coffee shop, all while snickering at the bows and the close inspection of each other’s cards. (Okay, we weren’t really following strict Japanese protocol…)

The exchange of business cards (meishi) in corporate Japan is a huge deal. It is almost ceremonial and it is filled with all sorts of social nuances. These are the basic “rules”:

Business cards are exchanged right after introductions, often in order of “rank” with the most highly ranked associate presenting his/her card last.
Cards are presented with two hands and with the information facing the recipient.
Upon receiving a card, you should take the time to read it carefully.
When you are done reading the card, you should place it carefully in a business card holder. (Don’t just shove it in your pocket or purse.)
If you receive cards during a meeting, you can leave them on the table as the meeting is conducted, but remember to carefully pick up each one at the end of the meeting and place them in your business card holder.
Never write on, fold or damage anyone’s business card in from of him/her. Business cards are seen as an extension of the person.
Never present a damaged card to someone. Again, the card is an extension of yourself.
Always carry plenty of cards. It would be rude to be caught without one.
Have a business card holder. (And probably one that’s a little more professional than my old Chococat one!)

I have never missed working in corporate America, but I do miss the exchange of the business card since I do not often have the opportunity to exchange cards in person very often these days. I should make a point to get them out more often and practice my meishi exchange.

This week, I am sharing some little aspects of our multi-cultural marriage in celebration of Loving Day on Wednesday.

Tagged coffee, Loving Day, memories

May 07 2013

7 Comments

adventures, gardening, Sweet Tooth, Those Were the Days

Sweet Tooth

This past weekend, I met up with my parents for some garden shopping. We met in our usual spot, Peru, Illinois, which is kind of a halfway point for us. (It’s a bit of a longer drive for me, but it’s worth it because that area has great thrift stores!) We usually go to the same ol’ places but since I was on the hunt for tomato and pepper plants for my garden, they took me to Rural King–“America’s Farm & Home Store”. I did get some plants and some seeds here (more on that later) but I fell in love with the store for other reasons.

Reason #1: the free popcorn and coffee. When you walk in the Rural King door, you are welcomed by the scent of freshly popped popcorn and a pot of coffee. Isn’t that so sweet and old-fashioned? My mom and I helped ourselves to some popcorn while we poked around the candy aisles.

Reason #2: the vintage candy selection! Where else can you get seeds for your garden, parts for your tractor, food for your chickens AND old-timey gum and sweets?! I could have bought one of everything, but I decided to narrow it down to a few things (mainly because I didn’t want my candy bill to out-do my garden bill…so embarrassing…)

Here’s a rundown of my choices:

Chuckles, a sugar coated jelly candy introduced in 1921. (There is an interesting review of the Chuckles flavors here.) I am familiar with Chuckles, but I can’t remember ever tasting them, so I’m looking forward to breaking the package open this week.

Teaberry gum, my faaaavorite gum of all time. It was introduced in 1900 was popular in the 60s. (Has it been on Mad Men?) If you’ve never tried it, I think you should–it’s sweet and has a slight wintergreen flavor…it’s hard to pinpoint…it’s not super minty, it’s just wonderful. And I love the packaging and all of its vintage pink goodness. I found the commercial below and I may have spent a good amount of time this morning perfecting my Teaberry shuffle…

Clove gum is another old gum…there’s not much to say about it except that it’s reeeally clove-y. It’s not bad, but I think one pack would have been enough to walk down memory lane.

Beemans gum is from the 19th century. I’d forgotten what it tasted like. For some reason, I was thinking honey (BEEman…turns out he’s the inventor of the gum and not a bee) but it’s a nice light mint flavor…different than Teaberry, but almost as good!

And finally, Sky Bar. I’d never seen this one before and I am most excited to try it. It’s made up of four sections with four different fillings: caramel, vanilla, peanut and fudge. According to the Necco website, the Sky Bar is still the only candy bar to offer four different flavors. I had a very healthy lunch today (involving roasted cauliflower) so I doubt this candy bar makes it through the afternoon.

I think my favorite part of the old-timey candies is that their packaging is usually the original design…no one felt the need to update it to keep up with the “cool kids”. It’s charming and tasty and while I’m eating it, I just can’t help but think (in an old granny voice): They don’t make things like they used to.

Tagged adventures, food, garden, gardening, memories, shopping, vintage