Category Archives: some stuff about me

A Return to Normal

IMG_2629This has been the flu that won’t quit. Just when I start thinking I’m all back to normal, I’m not. I tried as much as possible to enjoy the holiday weekend, but also gave myself a break, staying home when I could and resting as much as possible (except for a late night creepy movie marathon on Saturday night!). I’m hoping for a better week ahead. (Disclaimer to quash any feelings of hope: Mom, I am not pregnant.)

I’ll be back this afternoon with my first post about Boston (which feels like a lifetime ago!) It’s a rainy and stormy day here, so I’m looking forward to catching up on all of the life I missed last week!

Under the Weather

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Sorry for the silence around here. On Monday night I came down with the flu…the icky stomach flu. I’m sure I caught it on the plane, in spite of my hand washing vigilance.

Presley was my companion champion and Naoto…well, let’s just say that man deserves a medal. If we ever have kids, they will be lucky to have one parent who can handle illness.

Anyway, I’ll be back tomorrow. Today is for cleaning the house thoroughly, and getting ready for fireworks tonight. It’s Independence Day in the US. Naoto and I are looking forward to gardening this afternoon and hanging out until the big show later.

To all my American friends, Happy 4th of July!

Loving Day

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In 2007 Naoto & I did an interview for the Chicago Tribune. The article was written to celebrate the fortieth anniversary of Loving v. Virginia, the Supreme Court decision that invalidated any state laws that outlawed marriage between interracial couples. Our friend Erica worked for the Tribune and when one of the reporters mentioned that she was seeking out interracial couples, Erica gave her our number. The reporter came to our home one night and sat in our living room and asked us a bunch of questions about our marriage, how our families responded to our relationship, how others responded to our relationship and how we felt about the fact that our marriage would have been illegal forty years before. A few nights later a photographer came to our home to take pictures of us (and Presley). We also took a little walk downtown Oak Park with him so he could get outside shots. I wish I could have seen all of those pictures because we had a great time…but it is no secret that I was thrilled to see my little Presley in the paper! (Can you tell that she reeeeally didn’t want to be held?) You can read the article in full here. (Please note: we over-used the word “like” in the interview. Also, yes, that was my hair.)

To be honest, before we did the interview, Naoto and I had no idea about the Lovings or Loving v Virginia. We knew interracial marriage was not a common thing, especially between an Asian man and a white woman (from an all-white farm town nonetheless), but we lived in such a progressive community, we never gave it much thought.

Sure, there have been occasional head-turns over the years.

Sure, there have been people who’ve asked me “what” Naoto is and people who have refused to learn his name because it’s different. (“Can I just call him Bob?”)

Sure, there was that guy at Trader Joe’s who said, incredulously, “Yoooouuuu’re Naoto’s wife???”

But, for the most part, because of friends we surround ourselves with and the community we live in, we are insulated from the interracial marriage “haters”. It isn’t until things blow up like a Cheerios commercial that we realize how important Loving Day is.

For us, Loving Day is just another day for us to celebrate what we are: just a couple of people who happened to meet at the right place in the right time who happened to be from two different continents, two different races and two different nationalities. And, as we celebrate forty-six years of legal interracial marriage, it’s hard not to think about Loving Day’s relevance in today’s fight for gay marriage. In 2007, Mildred Loving issued this statement regarding Loving Day and its relationship to our modern-day fight for marriage rights:

“I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry… I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard’s and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight, seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That’s what Loving, and loving, are all about.”

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Exchanging Business Cards (the Japanese Way)

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The night that Naoto and I met (a story for another time) the one big conversation catalyst was my job at a Japanese company. Because our offices interacted so often with Japanese colleagues, part of my training involved Japanese business culture. And, because I grew up in a town that was 99.9% white and was never a Japanophile before I started working there, I found this training so fascinating.  As it turned out, part of Naoto’s job at that time was to deliver Japanese business culture trainings to doctors who would be traveling to Japan for conferences. Naoto and I had a great conversation comparing notes and stories of accidental rudeness. We laughed as we presented our business cards to each other that night. We followed the strictest Japanese protocol in the middle of that coffee shop, all while snickering at the bows and the close inspection of each other’s cards. (Okay, we weren’t really following strict Japanese protocol…)

The exchange of business cards (meishi) in corporate Japan is a huge deal. It is almost ceremonial and it is filled with all sorts of social nuances. These are the basic “rules”:

  • Business cards are exchanged right after introductions, often in order of “rank” with the most highly ranked associate presenting his/her card last.
  • Cards are presented with two hands and with the information facing the recipient.
  • Upon receiving a card, you should take the time to read it carefully.
  • When you are done reading the card, you should place it carefully in a business card holder. (Don’t just shove it in your pocket or purse.)
  • If you receive cards during a meeting, you can leave them on the table as the meeting is conducted, but remember to carefully pick up each one at the end of the meeting and place them in your business card holder.
  • Never write on, fold or damage anyone’s business card in from of him/her. Business cards are seen as an extension of the person.
  • Never present a damaged card to someone. Again, the card is an extension of yourself.
  • Always carry plenty of cards. It would be rude to be caught without one.
  • Have a business card holder. (And probably one that’s a little more professional than my old Chococat one!)

I have never missed working in corporate America, but I do miss the exchange of the business card since I do not often have the opportunity to exchange cards in person very often these days. I should make a point to get them out more often and practice my meishi exchange.

kimberlyah business card, chococat card holder

This week, I am sharing some little aspects of our multi-cultural marriage in celebration of Loving Day on Wednesday. 

 

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06.02.06

080Happy 7th Anniversary to my Naoto! Thanks for a most wonderful seven years! Here’s to many more…and NO seven year itch!

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On April 26, 2005…

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…Naoto proposed. (Finally.)

It was a random Tuesday night, and I worked late…as I always did. Naoto was waiting for me at our friends’ bakery, the Prairie Bread Kitchen. We decided to go to Chipotle for dinner and I asked Bonnie to join us. She declined, saying that she had things to do. But I begged and I begged, so she agreed to join us. As the three of us walked down the block, Bonnie suddenly remembered she had forgotten something at the bakery, so she ran back, telling us that she’d catch up with us.

So we kept walking and made it to the Rocking Horse, a children’s clothing store down the block that had previously been the coffee shop where Naoto and I met (recently seen here). Naoto pulled me over to the Rocking Horse’s big windows. There were baby swimsuits on display. I thought it was a little weird, but I also thought we were just waiting for Bonnie. Then Naoto sentimentally mentioned that we had met there, on the other side of the glass (we had, at a small table for two), that we had started our first chapter there at that table. Then, as I’m half listening, he started talking about our next chapter and I stopped listening. Everything is a little fuzzy from this point, but all I remember is him dropping down to one knee and me crying out “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!” over and over again. Loudly. So loud that other shop owners on the block came out to see if I was getting mugged.

Needless to say, Bonnie was in on the plan–the ring had been stored in her store’s safe. We ran back and told her the good news (I said yes, after a lot of shouting.) and we went out to dinner at our favorite place and toasted the moment with champagne. It was a good night, followed by a surprise day off the next day. I couldn’t believe he surprised me (because Naoto has the worst poker face in the world). I couldn’t believe it had (finally) happened.

The picture above is from our wedding (more than a year later). We took a moment to enjoy our meeting place, our engagement place during our walk from the ceremony to the reception.

I wish we had a picture of ourselves in the actual moment, but that’s okay…I still feel the butterflies and sheer (relief?) excitement of the moment as if it were yesterday.

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It’s “Heart” Work

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Naoto & I are both members of our local gym. The difference is, he loves going and I hate going. I drag my feet out of the locker room and Naoto bounds out with excitement for the upcoming treadmill time (yes, that’s him above, super-excited about the workout ahead). When we update our runs (or in my case run/walks) on Daily Mile, Naoto writes things like, “Ran 5 miles. It felt awesome!” I write things like, “The only reason I ran for that long is because I wanted to see the end of the Friends episode.” When Naoto goes, he bounces around like a celebrity high fiving the card-taker at the door. When I go, I avoid eye contact and put my earbuds in so I’m not obligated to interact with anyone. (I think I’m the more normal one in this respect.) When Naoto goes he likes to take his time and change and shower in the locker room. I like to come dressed for the gym, rush into the locker room just to hang up my coat and shower in the privacy of my own bathroom when I get home. Naoto never turns on the treadmill’s TV or listens to music. I plot my gym visits around TV shows and often embarrass myself (& Naoto) by snort-laughing at Colbert or cheering out loud at a sports team.

But as annoying his enthusiasm about working out can be, I still love going to the gym with Naoto. He’s a good influence in more ways than one.

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Tiny Plastic Pig

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I had the nicest teacher ever in third grade. Mrs. Cox was so patient and caring, but she was also firm. One morning when I walked into the classroom, I found the entire contents of my desk tossed on the floor and on my desktop sat a tiny plastic pig. I was a very sensitive child–a bit of a goody, goody–so at first I was stunned, then I was saddened by this “mean” act. But when I looked at Mrs. Cox, she was smiling and she said that when desks got this messy it was best to start over. That just made everything better (well, a little bit…to this day I still feel slightly mortified by that moment, even though other students–mostly boys–had pigs on their desks, too). I got to work putting my desk back together and throwing out a ton of old papers and other stuff (I was apparently a hoarder back then, too!). My third grade desk never got that messy again…but I hardly learned my lesson–I am still very messy today.

So on Monday, I pulled out the tiny plastic pig (unfortunately, this is only a metaphor…I really do need a plastic pig) and started dumping everything out of my desk drawers. What you see in the picture above is some of my desktop clutter mixed with the contents of one of the drawers. All week I’ve been working on getting my desk to “perfection” status (all while trying to remember not to let perfect be the enemy of the good!) It’s quite a challenge. Since most of my crafting happens on the desks but most of my craft supplies are in the second bedroom, the process involves a lot of walking around and deciding what should go where…and what should go into the donation pile. In other words, organizing the desk has opened a whole other can of worms that involves the spare room (and somehow the junk drawer in the kitchen). I’m trying to keep my eye on the prize: a neat & tidy & functional work surface.

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on a whim…

Last week I made a hair appointment on a whim, thinking I would just get the usual inch or two cut off again. My hair has been really long for a really long time. But instead of doing fun things with it, I usually kept it knotted up, or in a pony tail. Totally boring. And, even though I always had good intentions of learning fun long hair styles, I didn’t have the patience to keep practicing. I rarely braided it or put it in a sock bun…never anything really wild and crazy (except for the occasional fish bone braid, which I love!). And, I hardly ever wore it down because it just got in the way, or got all tangled and I just looked unkempt.

So, lately I’ve been feeling the why-bother-with-long-hair thing. Fall felt like the perfect time to chop it all off, because it would grow again to pony-tail length in time for summer (in case I decide that I miss the pony tail thing).

So I chopped it off–rather, my stylist, Beata chopped it off…literally.

It was a surprisingly calm moment…there was no holding of my breath while Beata tied up the hair and broke out the scissors. No gasp when the ponytail dropped off. I think it was the right decision 😉

Here are the twelve inches of hair, all ready to donate to Locks of Love. It’s the second time I’ve donated hair to them…at least someone might be able to benefit from my laziness about getting haircuts!

And here’s me…a little lighter in the hair department.

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